Practice: Just because… appetite

” ‘For the past eighty years I have started each day in the same manner,’ wrote Pablo Casals in his memoir, Joys and Sorrows. ‘I go to the piano, and I play two preludes and fugues of Bach. It fills me with awareness of the wonder of life, with a feeling of the incredible marvel of begin a human being.’ ” ~ from Practicing – A Musician’s Return to Music by Glenn Kurtz, given to me when in the hospital. ~K.

Swami Dayananda Sarasawati told a story once of “a fellow who I would walk by in the morning, always in headstand… and when I walked back, still in headstand,” and he slaps he knee and rocks in laughter as only he does. “Now that is appetite!” He went on to elaborate on what he meant by appetite, the hunger for practice, not seeking to master “fancy yoga poses” or do something different every day, but appetite for simple repetition of what is to be done, for daily life… I wish I could remember his exact words, I feel I am not doing it justice. I remember taking away something to the effect of “cultivate appetite… daily.”

I try to remember this mornings when I feel I do not have the energy or wind for yoga practice, or mind is too restless to sit, nor the patience, nor the desire. If I can make it to sit and do the Invocation to Patanjali, these days quiet in my mind, as breath is weak, then something happens. When I used to chant it out loud, or if I try now, something even larger happens. The first sound of the morning, invoking lineage and timeless yoga teachings, touching that cord through time, through so many yoga students become teachers who have brought the practice now to me. The sound awakens silence and awakens me, snapping me into now, into practice, into appetite. The invocation breaks through sleep and doubt as the morning sun peels back the night, the sound is sound of morning like the birdsong, always greeting the day singing, each sunrise.

These days I have the need to go to bed early and am waking at or just before dawn. This was not the case when I was working, and had such a restless mind at night needing something, music, TV, eating out… to unwind at night. Likewise waking time was a little later, and yoga practice start times erratic, sometimes afternoon or evening if I had to be onsite for work early. Whatever time, the invocation serves to slice through the mind’s spinning and ground us in readiness for practice.

Practice not because it’s yummy and will feel good or you want to see pleasure. Practice not because it is always uplifting, seeking the euphoria endorphins through distracted movement, looking for that up. Practice not because it is easy, nor gentle when feeling weak. The gentle laziness is often himsa, causing harm. I will write about ahimsa,”doing no harm” in practice soon. The weak parts of body and mind need practice and will protest, “It hurts.” The not doing is causing harm, the hours at the desk is causing harm, the long commute is causing harm, the two weeks bedridden not eating letting muscles go weak and dull caused harm, now you ask of that choked body to work? Of course it hurts! Because it hurts, we stop? No. We connect to breath, to focus, to determination, to invocation, to gratitude for gift of breath, this breath. The lazy leg in a posture is causing harm, just as overdoing it, over stretching, or overworking causes harm. Kindness and healing is not indulging the laziness and calling it gentle, nor showing off how hard one can work. Health is a constant maintenance. “Use Caution and Be Bold!” as I often quote BKS Iyengar. The benefits of yoga then are revealed in many facets.

Practice not because, today, I happen to have the time and did not yesterday or will not tomorrow. Practice not because I am now in yoga class and someone is watching my cool pose. Practicing not to seek praise for practicing, or having to announce that I have. Practice just because it is what is to be done. With repetition, with appetite. With bold curiosity, and passionate inspiration surfaces if not already present.

Like chopping wood, or carrying water once was, or is for many; it is what is to be done. Just because. “But I don’t wanna.. not in the mood, too tired, it’s just not like class…” As my teacher Ramanand has said to me “Lose interest in your excuses.” See them, say them out loud and laugh. Stand in Tadasana and go through the excuses aloud, looking in the mirror and laugh at that mind! I’m serious. Do it. Don’t just laugh as you read this, and think “good idea.” Do it.

The invocation to Patanjali connects us to our teachers, their teachers and ultimately that first teacher, Brahman, Isvara, the one who sustains all and is self-sustaining. Krsna tells Arjuna “I was the first student and the first teacher. Then I taught the sun, the elements…” Connect to that thread. The earth knows to spin, the sun knows to come up, the birds know to sing… just because it is what is to be done.

Tips for home yoga practice coming soon, to break through the “I don’t wanna.. What shall I practice? etc…”

What tricks do you use to help motivate you? Do you have a certain space you keep clear? A way you start each time? do tell….share your appetite, we all learn and benefit and pull each other along. I know you are pulling me along, many thanks.
~Karl

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This entry was posted on Sunday, June 6th, 2010 at 9:13 am. It is filed under All posts, Practice and tagged with Music, Practice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.