At this time I can’t say why I feel so good doing this but I do. It is the way the asana practice has crept up on me over the years.
It all helps me see my place in the world. I have found the meditating to help relieve my anxiety -
it is easier to see my habits and come back to my “happy” self. It puts everything in perspective.

I am so appreciative of your sharing your expertise in this. The guided meditation that you have been providing has been very special.

I was recently part of a gathering at Yoga Tree Hayes to hear Karl share his experiences with cancer, and to discuss healing. As we sat in the circle, I watched Karl build a “raft” of yoga bolsters, and imagined him floating his raft in the waters of our loving community.

It was painful to hear some of Karl’s experiences–staring at a wall for eight hours while receiving chemo, receiving two bone marrow transplants. And, yet, gratitude and generosity were clearly the main message, and the energies present in the room on that day. I am interested in healing, resilience, and the moment by moment choices we all have to make–saying “yes” to Life…or not.

One of the things I got a glimpse of during this conversation was the profound movement from head to heart of teachings of love, presence, and surrender. How does one accept sudden unexpected challenges that completely change the way we live our lives? Karl’s story was inspiring, as he described choices to stay loving, be present, and surrender to each moment. I felt I was hearing stories of living the teachings and practices instead of just knowing about them.

Afterwards, walking to my car, I thought about the question that Karl said many people asked him, “Why you?” And his answer, “Why not me?” I imagined that it was not easy to come to that answer. I wondered, can I be that vulnerable, and can my practices support me in choosing Life?

That is, when you first found you had cancer, you immediately thought, “why me?” It’s a typical reaction I think, especially for someone your age. And many people reinforced it. You mentioned that people reacted to the news over and over again with, “Of all people, I can’t believe this happened to you!”

I think their shock and disbelief comes not only from concern for you, but also from fear for themselves. Many people practice yoga believing it will ward off illness. It’s just not so. And it’s absolutely not the point.

Through the cancer experience you were able to really grasp the true meaning of yoga by being forced to practice it. Your yoga understanding went from being an intellectual study to a visceral, sustaining sensibility. You were able to find joy and peace and gratitude when you needed it most — not when everything is fine, but when you’re facing down death. You were able to dissolve your ego, cultivate a non-attached view, and say, “Why not me?”

I watched my own parents struggle with cancer. They never got past the “why me” stage. They thought that because they jogged and cycled their whole lives, that they had made some kind of deal and were entitled to a free pass from illness. My father died feeling betrayed and bitter — even though he had 74 good years! I think that because you were able to say “why not me”, you distanced yourself from the event. It wasn’t a personal attack on you. And, as a result, you were able to appreciate every day — from the hawks cavorting in your back garden to the multiple kindnesses of friends and relatives. You tapped into the real meaning of yoga which isn’t about strength of body, but about equanimity of spirit.

Karl’s systematic approach and skillful method make the study interesting, relevant and fresh. Swami Dayananda Saraswati’s books break down the teaching so just about anyone can drive right into the study.

If you’ve been wanting more out of your practice than just taking a few classes a week here’s your chance.

om tat sat

Tony

I felt like there were lessons there for any challenge that life throws at you not just in dealing with illness.

Thank you.
Warm regards,
Sanjay

The experience of meditation alone cannot uncover knowledge and understanding, nor can study of the texts by one’s self. The experience of meditation may be misunderstood without inquiry. Self-reflection may lead to erroneous conclusions about one’s self. That said, discussion and questioning alone cannot truly assimilate the knowledge into one’s being, moods and behaviors. Meditation takes the knowledge from discussion and study of the texts and reveals doubt and contradictions in the mind, patterns that perpetuate misunderstanding of the self. Hence we are told all 3 practices are necessary for moksha, or freedom from suffering of the ego: Listening to teachings on the texts with a teacher, assimilation through action and behaviors, and specifically the form of meditation called “nididhyasana” which addresses the cognitive understanding.

Blessings
Jillian

All the best-
Cory