yogaNexus - Karl Erb

Kirtan Saturday February 11, SF

Karl — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:25:14 +0000

Come together in song, kirtan, meditation and rest on Saturday February 11th, at Yoga Tree Hayes in San Francisco. Join Eleni Gekas, a surprise cellist and I for a musical, meditative, devotional evening with tidbits from the Narada Bhakti Sutras and the Bhagavad Gita to color our explorations into consciousness and being through song in community.

I have been working on new repertoire, and new verses for our favorites.

See the widget to the upper right on this page for audio of past kirtan –>

Yoga Tree Hayes, 8:15 pm
$8-15 donation for the space and musicians.
Hayes and Octavia
San Francisco
REGISTER NOW: Yoga Tree

Happy New…

Karl — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 22:15:43 +0000

For many this is the time of year when we look forward and look back, wish a “Happy New Year” upon others and ourselves, and reflect upon changes, what we’d like to change in ourselves, or “resolve to improve,” all dipping into the sense of renewal, of fresh start-ness, of a cycle beginning anew. Which is interesting as a cycle has no beginning…

This time of year is rich in intentions to leave behind what no longer serves us and to grow towards what nurtures and sustains us. Sometimes looking forward with hopeful anticipation, or looking back thinking next year can only be better… All over the globe, the drive and intentions are similar though the time of year may vary, indicating there is no intrinsic “right” time for this renewal, simply that it occurs.

Happy New.

All the diverse views, intentions, and sentiments around this annual renewal share two things:

- The seemingly innate drive towards contentment, towards feeling whole.
- The perception of time passing, of time being a factor towards that wholeness.

Embedded in the greetings of the period is the conclusion that everyone wants to be happy. There is no hesitation in offering this salutation, nor any resistance in its reception, across cultures. The resolve to better one’s self is also linked to the desire to be happy, content, whole… accepting of one’s self.

Happy New.

Implied in the desire to better one’s self, to improve upon oneself, is the sense that some action, some external source, internal thought, or behavior, can improve upon my self, and my happiness. Implied in a desire to change is the belief that “I” can be changed, and that the current state is somehow not acceptable to me. Likewise implied in the seeking is the fact that finding myself to be whole and acceptable to me is a reasonable, natural end. We do not seek to be sorrowful, or incomplete, so there is something in happiness and fullness that must be intrinsic to my nature.

The new year, new resolve will bring me closer, over time, to that desirable, happy self I long to be. Associating with desired ends, and disassociating with undesirable ends, dropping past patterns, stories, and habits all reveal my relationship to time. The change will occur over the new year, in a series of tomorrows unfolding one after the other. Such efforts are certainly healthy for sustaining the psyche and body, which undergo constant change, but happiness, knowing myself to be acceptable to me, is something altogether different.

What is changing? What simply “is”?
If we are to exercise choice and will to bring change, it is important to know what changes and what does not. While the the mind, body, senses, emotions and so forth are subject to constant change, to infer that such change can improve upon the “I” that experiences the mind/body/senses is worth exploring. Through chosen actions and thoughts we can bring change to the mind and body, affecting various levels of balance and healing in our physiology, psychology and so forth. I, the subject, am effecting change on the body and heart/mind, both objects of my perception.

Being conscious of my body, my thoughts, feelings, body and thoughts become evident to me through senses and perception, thus “I” am the subject, and all that becomes evident to me are objects of perception. There is only one subject, I. What I perceive cannot be “I”, what I perceive is by definition not the subject. The eyeball does not see itself. To attribute the change undergone by the object, the body/mind, to the subject perceiving the change, “I,” is a flawed inference. If I see a house being painted, I am clear that I am not being painted, and yet with the body/mind/senses we are not so clear. Human tend to attach change of the body (object) to our very sense of self (Subject): The body ages, we say “I am old, I am aging,” the body is female, we say “I am female,” and so on.

Once I know that no external object can alter my essential nature, the challenges, wants and needs of the body/heart/mind are handled in a practical way from a more stable, consistent, steadfast center.

So as we renew commitments to practices that are healthy and sustaining, we do it not from a place of feeling less than, or inadequate, or vain but rather because we seek practices that uncover our essence, our whole, adequate self, practices that disassociate us from identifying with the the body and heart/mind and all their changes.

Now New Happy You.
So we set out in the new year to effect change, to drop certain things, leave behind certain things, and move towards certain things, to improve “ourselves.” And yet memory, habit, nostalgia, sentiment, and comfort in the familiar seem to keep the past affecting us, and the resolve seems to thin, spread out across so many tomorrows. In fact tomorrow never comes, the choice for change can only be today, now, moment to moment. There is only now, perpetually new.

I used language like “leave behind,” “move towards,” intentionally to show that in our perception time is a factor in this newness, and in this happiness, or “becoming” the acceptable self. Change, desire for change, happens in memory of past, or in imagination of future. Yet neither the past nor future exist in any real sense, and are rather constructs in our awareness. An event, person or object of the past is not currently affecting me, rather the thought of the event, person or object affects me, and can color my emotions in the present. The same can be said about events, people and objects of the future. These attractions and aversions in memory and imagination are what fills our heart/mind, our thought-life. Now is seldom in our attention.

Tomorrow never comes, there is only today, new each time. Within today, there is only each moment, now, and in that moment choices are made, not tomorrow. This perpetually new now is here all year round, every day, always new. And if I say I am present in this moment, how long is the moment? Each second can be broken down to a millisecond and so on… So even “now” happens as moments in time, until reduced to simply motion in our thought/perception of time, thus in our awareness. Time becomes evident to me… Century consciousness, year consciousness, minute consciousness… all segments of time are objects of perception, occur in consciousness, in fact are consciousness. “Century” consciousness does not take a century, nor does “second” take a second. “Century” consciousness IS, second consciousness IS and so on…

And if we think of “Now” consciousness, where is the object?
Now is simply consciousness. Consciousness is always now.

So if we reduce “now” to its smallest part, past the milliseconds, we end up simply in awareness, that which makes me, the subject, aware of “now” as an object of my perception. And further still, truly awareness itself is the only and ultimate subject, the only “I,” not the mind aware of time, not the “aware-er,” not the one who is aware. And Awareness is always now, neither young nor old… a “new” with no opposite, no polarity. Now is consciousness.

Happy New.

The non-wanting now self.
Wants and needs, desires and distastes, attractions and aversions all happen in memory or imagination, not in “now.” Free of memory and imagination, all wants, likes and dislikes fall away, our non-wanting self is revealed in “now:” Free of want, free of lack, intrinsically whole, full, not subject to improvement nor to demise. There is no change, no becoming. Always new, in fact outside of new and old, intrinsically happy. Or rather, since “happy” is an adverb qualifying the one who is happy, more accurate to say “intrinsic happiness” that which lights up the one experiencing happiness. Now awareness is happiness itself.

So really all we are dropping is the false inference that anything sticks to “I.”
No amount of changing behaviors, people, situations will bring wholeness to “I.”
There is no “moving towards” where I am.
Happy. New.

The sun needs no light to illuminate its presence, to verify its presence. It is self-illuminating.
All attractions and aversions, likes and dislikes, become evident to me, are objects of my perception or inference.

That “I am” is the only thing self-evident to “I,” the subject who is awareness itself.
Mind, thoughts, emotions, pain, all bodily, sensory, psychological, physiological experience become evident to “I,” and thus cannot be I.
We mistake the field of the known, for the knower; we confuse objects of perception for the subject who perceives, in whose presence all becomes evident, who is self-evident.

Awareness, Beingness itself is free of want.
Now occurs within “I”.
Consciousness is only Now.
Now is Consciousness.
Now is happiness.
I am happiness, the intrinsic non-wanting-ness.

And since there is only now in awareness, awareness is outside of time, not continuous, but timeless, no beginning, no end, like a cycle, always new.

So, Happy New to you.
Happy New is you.
“I am happiness.”
New. Now.

Again and again.
Now.
That’s all there is.

Sat – existence, never negated.
Cit – awareness, basis of all that is known.
Ananda – fullness, outside of time, without limit.

Your thoughts?

* Much of the inspiration here comes from meditation, climbing trees, bird watching, from study of the Bhagavad Gita and the knowledge that colors my experiences from that study. I am grateful to Swami Dayananda Saraswati and others at Arsha Vidya Gurukulam for being the inspiration and illumination behind my understanding. Much of the language is inspired by their talks, writings, meditations, my notes from studying, my experiences in guided meditations and so on.

Why Meditate? Part 1: Top 3 Reasons

Karl — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 15:31:14 +0000

New FREE Meditation practice
Sundays, 8:20 am – 8:50am
just before 9:00 am yoga class
Yoga Tree Valencia
San Francisco

Meditation may seem like an elusive or esoteric practice, or some woo woo mumbo jumbo that other people do, but “not really for me.” So “Why meditate?” is a reasonable question. Here I offer a few reasons and benefits for humans of all tribes, regardless of experience, denomination and so on. For recent scientific research on meditation see the video segments from ABC News on recent studies on meditation, the link is at the end of this article. Your thoughts? Comments? Questions? Feel free to comment, or share your experience and questions from the practice if you have been coming.

Meditation can:
- Relieve health effects of stress,
- Neutralize emotional suffering,
- Internalize a healthier, whole, self-image and self-esteem.

1. On Stress and Health:
Emotion is the body’s response to thought. Emotions trigger various chemical and physiological reactions, some pleasant and healthy, some unpleasant and harmful to our physiology. By investigating the thoughts, by purifying the mind and becoming more conscious and intentional about our thought-life, we stabilize physiological responses to our perceived unease in daily life. Ill health effects of stress are neutralized.

2. On Suffering:
Pain, aging, illness and and disruptive external factors (people, expectations, situations) are a fact of life; while our suffering is our thought about pain and external forces, or objects of our perception.

Pain is a fact; suffering is our attitude towards pain. Suffering is in fact a choice.

In meditation we learn to observe the thoughts that keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns and false conclusions about physical pain and external factors, people, and situations. Thus the impact of pain and external forces on our intrinsically whole and adequate nature is neutralized.

3. On Identity and Contentment:
We move through each day with varied sense of self-esteem and contentment; we often experience un-ease in our sense of self or in relation to others. We often find our self lacking in some way, whether due to our own understanding of who we are, or influenced by the opinions, judgements and perceptions of others. Ultimately meditation, in the yogic tradition, offers an understanding of our very essence that allows our contented, whole nature to surface by observing and peeling back the layers, roles, stories that we falsely take to be “I”.

These false conclusions cloud our understanding of our own nature: an intrinsically whole, adequate, conscious being – free of lack, free of want, intrinsically secure unassailable contentment. Come home to “I.”

Your thoughts? Comments? Questions? Feel free to comment, or share your experience and questions from the practice if you have been coming.

SEE a collection of videos in an ABC News story on new research on certain effects of meditation
Notice how the article and video address chemical and behavioral effects, but not so much cognitive effects. The sense of self still remains in mind/body/senses and the ego throughout the interpretation of these studies. We’ll ignore the silliness in calling it the “new” science of meditation.

Yoga & Healing: An ongoing discussion

Karl — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 23:17:21 +0000

Karl Erb at Arsha Vidya Gurukulam, 11/11

We held an event Sunday Dec 4th to reconnect, celebrate life and gather as a community of like minds seeking to learn about ourselves and this life through yoga. See below for comments and discussion, feel free to share your thoughts. If you went please comment here on your experience and insights, if not, feel free to contribute to the discussion.

As this body went through cancer this past year and a half I have had many rich exchanges with fellow yoga teachers, yoga students, wellness practitioners, and several times we have thought it would be nice to have those discussions in a larger group, rather than a random encounter on the street as I took walks when between treatments, or on the phone, or the amazing emails I received.

I became very aware of community as an entity in itself, and how when one of us is tugged, all feel the tug. So getting together to meditate, chat and sing with each other just seems right.

I resumed teaching this past week, and re-entry into life and community is a fresh fullness. In the yoga classes I cannot really answer questions people have about the experience, the nature of the illness and treatments, how yoga, nutrition and meditation are part of integrated healing, and how yoga influenced me through the experience. I find I really only can speak of the whole thing in response to questions, and words find ideas that surface in response to specific comments, insights or questions. Likewise, it’d be great for folks to hear each other’s insights.

My time at Arsha Vidya Gurukulam studying Vedanta and practicing meditation for 4 weeks after treatments has also deeply colored my healing and rebuilding and thoughts on resuming daily life. So getting together is a time to explore those questions, as well as hear from others who have shared their experiences with me along this wild road. Many times I hear someone share their experience with healing, cancer, pregnancy and how yoga is a part of their process, and I wish you could all hear each other . And a partial motivation is also a personal thank you to all whose kindness helped get me through this. The learnings of the experience are an offering.

So that is the intention for the gathering, a discussion, Q&A, a group dialog, less than a formed presentation on Yoga and living with cancer, or healing through cancer.

The Bhagavad Gita, an introduction. Dec. 18 and Jan. 8

Karl — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:40:31 +0000

Introduction to the Bhagavad Gita:
A two part course
Sunday Dec 8th, Sunday January 8th
The Yoga Loft, San Francisco
Register Here
or call 415.626.5638

Why study the Bhagavad Gita?
We move through life with varying degrees of self-acceptance, happiness, sorrow and so on. In essence, discontent arises from finding our self, our current state, lacking or unacceptable in some way. The Bhagavad Gita (hereafter referred to as the Gita) addresses this question of how to find my self acceptable to myself, and provides a reasonable, rational solution for the root of all human sorrow and imbalance. The Gita addresses the truth of our essential nature, and practices for daily life to unlearn our erroneous conclusions about our nature.

As a student of yoga, the Gita must be studied to understand both the goal of yogic practices and the method of pursuing those practices. I recommend studying the Gita, learning a method of study, before pursuing study of the Yoga Sutras. As we study the Gita I will bring in relevant verses from the Sutras to show how key teachings are reinforced in various texts, and why knowing the teachings of the Gita is important before going into the Yoga Sutras. The Gita is both about what we seek and how to seek it, requiring cognitive, rational and deductive inquiry and self reflection, as well as daily tools for practice in both thought and behavior.

The Bhagavad Gita is one of several key source texts on yoga, See David Frawley’s article The Original Teachings of Yoga, for more context relative to the Yoga Sutras and other yogic texts. The Gita comes after the Upanisads and contains a distilling of essential teachings from the various Upanisads, thus studying the Gita is studying the topics of the Upanisads and certain sections of the Vedas.

The Gita gets to the heart of the human condition, exploring suffering, our wants, our needs, our moral codes and our drive for happiness, freedom and self-understanding; we will explore what each of these terms mean, and their sanskrit equivalents. Freedom, or moksha, in particular describes a breadth of concepts, freeing the human heart/mind from suffering, fear, isolation and so on. The Gita is an objective exploration of Creation and our place in it, how to move within its order, not constantly butting up against friction with life around us. The Gita is an understanding of that order, not a matter of belief, but a matter of understanding through inquiry.

The Bhagavad Gita is in essence about:
- Brahma Vidya: Knowledge of the nature of Wholeness, Beingness and my self, or Brahma vidya, knowledge of Brahman, Creator/Creation/myself
- Karma Yoga: Assimilating practices and attitudes to understand and internalize that knowledge, Brahma Vidya. These practices and attitudes are called karma yoga, actions and behaviors reinforcing understanding of the order of Nature, and the nature of Brahman. Karma yoga includes the practice of Bhakti, or devotion, as well as other key pillars of practice.

The Bhagavad Gita as a Practice
While a large part of study must be in discussion of the key concepts, another necessary step towards assimilation, towards moksha, is integration of the teachings through observance and refinement of one’s own thoughts and behaviors.

This course is not an academic study, nor a study of history, but an integrated practice in the lineage of the method used in traditional ashrams, in the lineage of Sankara’s missions.

While talking with a teacher and peers is essential for understanding and realization, that alone is not enough; tools for daily thoughts, actions, and behaviors are also essential. Hence taking on the study of the Gita is seen as taking on an exploration and commitment to practice, something relevant to my daily life.

In the upcoming two part course I am offering at the Yoga Loft in San Francisco on Sunday December 18th and Sunday January 8th, we will use Swami Dayananda Saraswati’s, of Arsha Vidya Gurukulam, materials and methods of study. I have been studying with him since 1997, and have found him to be the most thorough, insightful and accessible teacher on yogic texts and the body of knowledge called Vedanta, or the gestalt of the Vedas, the key teachings and key texts.

In this course you will learn both key teachings and verses from the Gita as well as a method of study to serve you for years to come, including meditation practices. Each session will include a meditation, and you will be given audio to use in your own practice going forward. We will use two of Swami Dayananda Saraswati’s books, as well as a translation of the whole text of your choice.

Required Reading:
NOTE: We will have copies of the Yoga Loft on the first day if you are unable to order ahead of time
*Amazon.com may be out of stock
Order from Arsha Vidya Gurukulam:
Call: 570-992-2339 ext. 1567
Or, you can order online,
http://books.arshavidya.org/ : search for “Value of Values” and “Eight Significant Verses”

- The Value of Values, by Swami Dayananda Saraswati
Specifically about the 13th chapter of the Gita and why the values and behaviors are necessary for understanding. This book gives us tools for daily behavior, making study relevant to daily life.
** Please purchase ahead of time from Amazon.com or ArshaVidya.org Try to start reading before the Dec 18th session.

- Eight Significant Verses of the Bhagavad Gita, by Swami Dayananda Saraswati
Key verses and commentary on eight verses that embody the heart of the teachings.
** Please purchase ahead of time from ArshaVidya.org. Try to start reading before the Dec 18th session.

You can order online, or call: 570-992-2339 ext. 1567
http://books.arshavidya.org/

- A copy of the full text of the Bhagavad Gita of your choice.

Recommended Reading:
- The Teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, by Swami Dayananda Saraswati
available at Amazon.com or ArshaVidya.org
–> Buy Books HERE from Amazon.com
You can order online, or call: 570-992-2339 ext. 1567
http://books.arshavidya.org/

Why Meditate? Part 2 … thoughts on intention and effects.

Karl — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 22:10:39 +0000

New FREE Meditation practice
Sundays, 8:20 am – 8:50am, Yoga Tree Valencia
San Francisco

Yoga is first and foremost a practice, a means, of purifying the heart/mind. The yoga sastra, or source texts, the Yoga Sutras and the Bhagavad Gita, tell us this. Asana, or the posture practice is but a small part of the many practices to focus the mind. So when I say Yoga, I am not referring to the practice of postures, which is more accurately called asana. Then follows the question, purification of mind towards what end? With the mind purified, the Yoga Sutras tell us “The self abides in its own true nature.” (I:3) Ok, so what is that intrinsic nature, that essence? How is it different from what I see, from who I take myself to be? Why is understanding that essential nature a desirable end? Yoga sastra go on to answer these questions. Meditation prepares the heart/mind for that dialogue.

Yoga is first and foremost a practice, a means, of purifying the heart/mind.

The ultimate end is to inquire into, and understand, the essence of our very being, and thus the essence of Nature or Creation itself. The yoga sastra conclude that all human suffering stems from an initial erroneous conclusion about the essence of our being; namely that we are limited in space and time, are born and will die; that we are defined by the limitations of our form, the mind, body and senses, that ego equals ‘I am.’ Thus much of life is spent seeking to acquire what we conclude we do not have, and to retain what we conclude we have. Our thought-life and actions are consumed, defined and limited by these conclusions and pursuits, these likes and dislikes. Noting that suffering is undesirable to humans, the yoga sastra and Upanisads offer a solution to negate suffering: knowing who you are. The sastra reveal that our perceptions and conclusions regarding identity are not accurate; and then offer practices to understand our essential nature, thus resolving all causes of internal conflict, suffering, fear, isolation, unease, insecurity and so on. That is the end, the top of the ladder. Pretty radical proposition, no? So how can this help me today? What does this have to do with meditation?

Meditating upon the meditator
We need to explore the first steps of the ladder; we cannot start at the top, thereby skipping the first rungs. Start far, we will go nowhere; start near we will go far. Knowledge of oneself does not take time, nor occur in time, the preparation does. Moksha, or liberation from confusion, suffering and misunderstanding of one’s nature, is a cognitive process and has a means, and preparation.

These first rungs of the ladder towards understanding our true nature are:

sravana, study of the teachings, the texts, with teachers,
manana, assimilation of teachings through action, and
nididhyasana, a form of meditation on the self where a cognitive shift occurs through practice of self observation and contemplation upon the teachings.

Nididhyasana is a practice of training the mind to perceive itself and its patterns, thereby revealing an intrinsic, constant sense of self, our indispensable nature, our essence, beyond fluctuations of circumstance, body or mood, beyond likes and dislikes, ups and downs, fears and joys. For this reason, the Yoga Sutras assert that meditation, dhyana, is one of the eight pillars of practice defining yoga, the astanga of yoga. In addition, meditation not only clears the mind, the practice affects our physiology, stress responses, and overall physical health as well, even to a genetic level, recent studies show. Those are the side effects.

A pure heart/mind, antah karana suddhi, is necessary to understand and assimilate the teachings of the sastra into daily life. The knowledge of essential nature, or jnana, resolves the misunderstanding, uncovering the heart; and bhakti, devotion, unclutters the heart, freeing the mind for understanding. The two are not separate and never far from each other. Through meditation, accurate perception is cultivated, old patterns drop, our essence is uncovered; practices such as vairagya, or ‘dispassion’ are demystified, understood and assimilated. Nididhyasana is that cognitive assimilation, which disproves our false conclusions about our nature, dropping old stories that no longer serve us. It is similar in practice, yet not synonymous, with what western psychology calls ‘auto-suggestion.’

Assimilating Knowledge of one’s self
If we are simply told, “Fear not, there is nothing lost in death, no cause for grieving, you were never born and will never die,” our responses range from disbelief, doubt, spiritual romanticism, and the latent desire to want to believe this to be true, but concluding it cannot be so. “Sounds nice, but c’mon… ” And yet Arjuna is told exactly that at the beginning of the Bhagavad Gita. Krsna asserts that Arjuna’s essence is Wholeness itself, satcitananda: persistent existence, conscious, aware and limitless. Simply saying so does not bring understanding. The whole dialog between Arjuna and Krsna is the challenging and unfolding of this conclusion. The conclusion has little to do with belief, more to do with understanding. The conclusion cannot be stated, it has to be unfolded through dialog, and assimilated. That you are liberated is to be known; the belief in, or mis-identification with, being limited refuted. Thus abiding in your true nature simply is – in the rich, complete, adequate glory of ‘I am.’ In addition to inquiry and dialog, a clear heart/mind is necessary for assimilating the understanding. Meditation is part of that preparation. In silence is knowledge, in silence is love.

Your thoughts? Comments? questions? Is this relevant and accessible?
Any feedback on the Sunday morning meditation if you have attended?

We will explore this practice of nididhyasana, as well as japa, or mantra meditation, imbued
week to week with the key teachings from the yoga sastra in the new Sunday morning
meditation practice at 8:30am in the Valencia studio, then bring the experience into the 9:00
am asana class.

Yoga and Occupy Wall Street

Karl — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 13:21:39 +0000

Re: Day of Action targeting Banks October 15th, Occupy Wall Street
[feel free to share freely, post it, past it on... please discuss, comment, critique.]

Before I am capitalist or anti-capitalist I am human, before I am Tea Party or Democrat I am human, before I am the 53% or the 99% I am human. Before I am human, and I am Being. Seeing beyond other is yoga. Starting with myself is yoga.

“A great industrial nation is controlled by it’s system of credit. Our system of credit is concentrated in the hands of a few men. We have come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated governments in the world–no longer a government of free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and vote of the majority, but a government by the opinion and duress of small groups of dominant men.”
-President Woodrow Wilson

In regards to a Day of Action targeting Banks on October 15th, that quote is important as it highlights in part where the flaws are in how the US economy is managed, and the implications for the political process. As students of yoga, many are asking “How do I participate in social change, if at all, from a position of compassion and dissolution of ego, not fueling perceived separations?” A yogi is always first concerned with how is one’s own thoughts and behaviors either reinforcing egoistic identify, or moving away from egoistic identity. Are my actions driven by ego or by duty (dharma)?

See also the comments by economist Nobel Laureate Joseph Stiglitz at Zuccoti Sq. in NYC: “Financial Markets are supposed to allocate capital and manage risk… they misallocated capital, created risk” and “socialized losses and privatized gain… that’s not capitalism… that’s not a free market, its a distorted economy.”

Partisans and those whose thinking is constrained by ideology (right or left) are trying to skew perception of the Occupy movement: anti-capitalist, unAmerican, unorganized and so on. Beyond these divisions we all share certain truths.

For inclusivity, for sustainability of the movement, for clarity of purpose through clear thinking it is important that we articulate what is wrong with the markets (good stuff from Elizabeth Warren to Warren Buffet, from Bill Mckibben to Bill Clinton) thus diffusing anti-capitalist rhetoric. Occupy Wall street is not unanimously anti-capitalist or pro-capitalist.

Occupy Wall street does seem to be unanimously calling for dialogue and critique of recent and historical banking trends, for an exploration of universal values transcending partisanship or ideology – compassion, non-violence, mutual respect, respectful debate, fairness economic and political, love…

The Tea Party, Republicans, Libertarians, Democrats – whoever, cannot own the language, rhetoric and values of patriotism, American, freedom and so on. Nor can we allow any group to erroneously define capitalism, socialism, free markets to create the appearance of the only correct claim to a particular model, nor to vilify a strategy by erroneously labeling it without discussing its objective impact. Meaning much of the so-called right wing is calling the Occupy Wall Street movement anti-capitalist even while a Nobel Laureate economist clearly identifies how the status quo is not capitalism, nor a free market.

So in preparing for a Day of Direct Action can we go in with clear thinking, mutual respect, a willingness to listen, be clear about our intention and clear about what values drive the action (for instance, cooperation, non-violence, the right the peacefully assemble respect for property) without sweeping positions like “Banks Suck”. A yogi asks first about his or her own thoughts and actions. Am I acting from ego or duty? Is my position cultivating dialog or fostering separation, anger and unfocused argument? Is what I am going to say next shedding light or causing friction, heat? Is what I am about to say in line with agreed upon values like mutual respect and willingness to listen?

Can I:
Lose interest in “we are fighting against…”
Gain passion for “We are striving for…”
Lose interest in “You are wrong.”
Gain passion for “Where do we agree?”
Lose interest in “Shut Up!”
Gain passion for “How can I listen?”
Lose interest in “I believe…”
Gain passion for “I understand…”
Lose interest in My needs, My demands,
and gain passion for Our needs, needs of Life and Earth.

Healing & Rebuilding, round two

Karl — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 18:48:14 +0000

I am currently at Arsha Vidya Gurukulam in Pennsylvania, studying Vedanta, meditation, walking, rebuilding. I began study of Vedanta with Swami Dayananda Saraswati here in 1996, coming every year for over for over ten years, so it has had a big influence on me and the place is a familiar, comfortable refuge full of rich intense study. I am doing relatively well and the prognosis is good for survival. I am slowly getting stronger, though still often tired and weak. Life is rich and beautiful, and here for me to return to, though different in so many ways.

I return to SF on October 8th, and hope to resume teaching in mid October, early November. I will also do an evening of Meditation, Song, Discussion and Questions on ‘Yoga, Cancer, Healing & Community’ when I return to hear any questions about the experience and share what I can put in words about these recent months and what has surfaced. I have been deeply touched by the yoga community during this experience, and feel that as a community we all have an effect on each other, and we have a lot to learn from each other. Being here at the Gurukulam is revealing much perspective on the illness and healing process and life itself, and I look forward to discussing that with the network of students and teachers alike in SF. You can see video and hear audio of some of the teachers from the Gurukulam on the Arsha Vidya Satsang site. Truly one of the best sources and rich traditions of learning on Vedanta, the Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita and such. We have been studying the Narada Bhakti Sutras, on the nature of love, divine love and love of the divine, and the Brahadaranyaka Upanisad, the Jyotir Brahmana section, a beautiful passage on light as metaphor for Being and Consciousness, and the qualities of this divine light.

As you may know, the cancer came back in March 2011 and I had to go to Indianapolis for two rounds of hi-dose chemotherapy and bone marrow transplant. I was originally diagnosed in May 2010, and went through treatments in SF last year. Indiana is where the experts are for the bone marrow transplant treatment, so I went for two rounds, with 10 days in SF in between. It was a grueling process, taking this body to the edge of life, killing bone marrow and other vital systems. The treatments ended in June and rebuilding this time has been a slow, arduous challenging process. I cannot thank friends, family and community enough for helping in so many ways through this challenging time.

Stand like a Mountain ~ Tadasana

Karl — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:23:21 +0000

Tadasana has never been so empowering, so moving – and so elusive – in 27 years of yoga. Not quite a week out from a 5 day chemotherapy treatment, within a year of 4 rounds of 5 day treatments, and facing even more depleting and toxic treatments coming up – I feel wobbly, though not quite so nauseous as the previous day.

Out on a short walk, feet and legs awkward from neuropathy, nerve damage that makes feet numbish, I start feeling myself pulled down as though to fall and I pause, nothing in reach to grab on to. I feel like a tangled Pinocchio strings slack, limbs all akimbo and quaking. I watch the falling as though from within; and then the body starts to adjust, my ankles lift a bit, feet pacing themselves parallelish, knees trying to find uprightness… and the inner thighs fall back, the hip recovering its tilt as in slow motion and I feel my back shift to hold me up. I’m still tilted forward at the hip, short of breath, heart racing, light vertigo affecting my vision, chest collapsed. (pic: BKS Iyengar in Tadasana from Light on Yoga)

As the pelvis settles, back muscles release and I start to breath a bit lower and less bound. I feel my back muscles and skin and glutes drop towards the earth as my torso starts to right itself.

The years of practice in tadasana have the body adjusting on its own, before my conscious mind had a chance to try to stop falling, the memory in the body kicked in and righted me. Tadasana. Find Tadasana.

I am close to standing though it seems my environs are still moving. At this point I become aware of what an effort this slow task of standing has been and all I am facing and faced last year rushes in as though hit in the chest before finding my footing, and will flickers as though snuffed, the breath catches wondering how I will face treatments yet to come as the body oscillates, lumbering off balance with the realization.

The Courage Points
From within the ribs start to expand, breastbone rising as though the puppeteer just woke up. The shoulder blades kick in and I start to feel held up by my back, by my shoulder blades. Ramanand Patel used to talk about a hand behind the breastbone lifting from within – an unconditional love hand, sometimes he would say the hand of Krsna, or simply unconditional love. The sense of lifting from within was what struck me as my side ribs started to lift from back to front, legs slowly finding less wobble, the weight almost settling at the front of my heel bones as the points beneath my outer collar bones start to fill up: the wheel of the armpit chest starts to lift and expand in circumference, shoulder blades meeting the force of the humerus bone pushing back to hold me up and further expand the ribs. Long ago I discovered courage lives in those two points just beneath the outer collar bones. The place we droop when fatigued, sitting unconsciously, or demoralized or lost in what Ramanand would call ‘PMS2′ or Poor Me Syndrome… Unknowingly, I did the mental work last year to learn that is a plateau upon which not to linger…

I stand and lift up the chest; the words of Martin Luther King coming to mind that I use in class when teaching Tadasana sometimes: “No one can ride you if your back ain’t bent!” It has become a sort of blues refrain I have been toying with… Stand Tall, No one can ride you if your back ain’t bent…. Stand Tall… I feel a welling from within as though tears at the challenge and pain or joy and I stand and close my eyes and feel the sun on my face, standing to face what comes. Tadasana, stand like a mountain.

Karl’s Treatment Schedule, Benefit and Update

Karl — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 22:45:31 +0000

(updated 4/24,2011) Well the cancer came back and I was just in the hospital undergoing another round of treatments. I was in the hospital through Sunday 4/10; then home for two or three weeks, then I’m off to Indiana on May 1st for hi-dose chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant (my own stem cells they extract and put back in after the chemo kills off all my white blood cells). To ashes and back, like the Phoenix. I will be in Indiana for about six weeks and then will be home to recover.

To stay in touch
1. See link in upper right for “Email newsletter” to sign up for occasional updates, new blog articles, virtual courses, audio uploads and such.

2. For those of you who want to help or volunteer for care or errands or mundane things that I can’t handle, and visiting times to come chat or make music, you can join the LotsaHelpingHands community site I set up: https://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/627442/ I will post more details there so as not to clutter my email list with cancer details, the email list will be more on writings pertaining to yoga, though clearly there is an intersection of yoga and healing at this point, see my recent article on Tadasana.

3. “Like” my facebook page at facebook.com/yogaNexus, or use the widget in the column to the right.

I’m feeling good so far, the hard parts are yet to come. I will be taking about a six month break from teaching and my full time job that enables me to teach. The prognosis is good, high chance of a cure, and with all your love and support my spirits are high.

Community Circle and Benefit Kirtan
(4/24: See widget in the column to the right for audio from the Kirtan, it was wonderful)
Yoga Tree and students are organizing a benefit to help me cover expenses. I will be getting SDI, and some long term disability from my full time day job, and family is helping. Nonetheless rent, travel to Indiana, accommodations in Indiana as well as this upcoming medical expenses will be a lot. I am still paying off last year’s medical expenses, those that insurance didn’t cover. Also the supplementary care from a local doctor is not covered by insurance, so his treatments are out of pocket. So thanks Kyra Millich, Katchie Ananda, Audrey Mei, Pedro Franco and Tara and Time Dale and the staff at Yoga Tree for pulling together a benefit and fund-raising strategy.

Kirtan Saturday April 16th
With Katchie Ananda and Friends
(I hope to make it)
8pm Yoga Tree Castro

Pedro’s class before the kirtan will be also benefiting my expenses.
Feel free to call or visit.

Here’s a video Yoga Tree made last year right before I got sick, for our bios:

Much love, and much gratitude.
I feel fortunate and blessed.
Karl